Squirrel World Lore
Creation Myth
In the beginning all the world was forest, as imagined by the sun god Bobross. He made all of nature; the clouds, the water and the happy little trees. Bobross also made the ultimate life form… squirrels, which mind you can descend from a tree head first. Bobross then dared to make a creature grander than the great and perfect squirrel so he imagined the giants. The giants are huge lumber lugs of creatures with faint fur, ugly flat faces and could not descend a tree head first by rotating its feet. Normally Bobross turns his happy little accidents into birds but this time he decided to teach the giants how to appreciate his creation through the joy of painting.
All was well for the longest time, the giants stayed on the ground while the squirrel stayed above them, both figurative and literally, until the giants stole the secrets on how to mold stone and sculpt iron from the moles, only one of them bothered to write it down so it’s lost technology. With this the giants began to poor the molding stone all over the grass so they can walk with ease and form mountain houses with little stars inside so they can see at night. In their conquest they tore down the trees, the homes of squirrels just too be mean. Squirrels and other tree dwellers feared the loss of their communities. In that time of dire need a hero stepped forth, a great mage and trickster, whose name instills wonder and authority he was known as … Chippy the Third. Chippy III instructed all the woodland folk to gather stones and put them in a huge ring encircling the world. Using his powerful magic he turns the stones into a mighty wall that was as tall as ten squirrels (that’s roughly six feet). Despite this mighty wall and the giants’ clumsy climbing ability, it still could not stop all the giants. Chippy III explained that he could only make the wall ten squirrels tall cause the spell is based on his caster level. He made another plan to halt the giant’s progress.
The great trickster mage asked the moles to craft a thousand glass panes of various sizes. Chippy III enchanted those panes with dancing lights, enthralling sounds and illusions of cats, he then passed these devices to the all giants who became fixated on staring and tapping at them (much like you are doing now). With that the giants became too distracted to bother with the entering green places all thanks to Chippy III. That is why a wall separates your world from the squirrel world or better put how squirrels believe the city park came to be.
Language
For easy reading this comic is written in the Queen’s English, but little do many know squirrels and all the other park critters speak their own languages. Squirrels and chipmunks speak what is called Chippish which humans can’t understand, but I do because they told me so.
Let’s learn some Chippish phrases in case you want to talk to squirrels, which I recommend doing with many wittiness as possible so you can impress them, the first is “greetings” which is translated to “eebadeeb”. The next one is “yeebadeab” meaning “where is the bathroom?” and finally “eeebudeed” is “cashews are not nuts” which squirrels hate hearing. Basic make that sound and you have a one in three chance of having a pleasant conversation with a tree rodent.
As for written language it only uses three characters (“) makes the “EE” sound, (/) makes the “ba” sound and (;) makes “deeb”. So “eebadeeb” is written “/; and so is “yeebadeab” and “eeebudeed” since all three are homonyms. Hope this was helpful.
Kingdoms
Anserinae
Domain: The pond. Population: swans, ducks, frogs and other semiaquatic creatures. Government: Matriarch.
Anserinae is a mystical matriarch upon the surface and around the pond. Adventurers often seek sanctuary and knowledge from the graceful and wise queen Odette. Anserinae keeps to itself but that doesn’t deter invaders from seeking a fabled treasure said to be hidden on the small island in the middle of lake.
Dreys
Domain: trees of the western grove. Population: squirrels, chipmunks and song birds. Government: Monarch.
Dreys is the Kingdom that Olney and Skurid hail from. It is directly above the rabbit kingdom of Lapine, being on the ground and Dreys in the trees. The two nations live peacefully for the most part, tensions do flare in the autumn when so many squirrels burry there nuts but this a minor ordeal. King Pistachio Is not the best choice for leader but good thing Princess Hazel is there to keep it all afloat.
Janeland
Domain: the statue. Populations: pigeons. Goverment: ???
You’d think not much would be happening in the kingdom of pigeons, on the contrary, it’s the stage for political unrest. Revolutions after revolution, folks of Janeland are not sure who exactly is king, czar, sultan or whatever at this time. By the time you’re done reading this Janeland likely changed hand with another power. Would the squirrels help or just make it worse?
Lapine
Domain: grass in the western grove. Population: rabbits and other small surface walkers. Government: congress.
Lapine is smackdab in the middle of Dreys, in the trees above, and Starnose, underneath. The motto on the flag translates to “Quick and Cunning” it also depicts the national trickster hero Retep. Its an unassuming nation but an important political link between it's neighbors.
Starnose
Domain: underground of the western grove. Population: Moles, voles, and groundhogs. Government: Monarch.
Under Lapine is Starnose Inhabited by moles and other deep burrowing mammals. Rabbit holes do not count as part of Starnose since there legion is with their own nation but some choose to be rabbits of the mole kingdom. Starnose is also known for its talented smith which is surprising given how bad their eyesight is.
Verminus
Domain: Sewers. Population: rats and mice. Government: Monarch.
Rats are not all bad but king Saratmon sure is. As soon as he became the big cheese of Verminus he’s been nothing but trouble for the rest of the park. Many rats and mice have fled to other kingdoms but receive unwelcome there. Maybe a band of heroes could purge the kingdom of Saratmon and give back to the rats, but whom… maybe the Adventure Squirrels… Nah.